I wrote this in September 2021 but didn’t get around to publishing it until now. Please enjoy! Today (well on September 21, 2021) I purchased something from my wish list. 

The MK Oversized Bradshaw watch; I’m an oversized watch woman. It all started back in the 90’s, ever since I’ve worn nothing but oversized face watches.  This is my 4^th MK oversized statement watch.  I have never gotten into the smart watches or the dainty delicate pieces that disappear on my 7.5 inch wrist. At 5’4” I may not immediately appear big perhaps instead of my typical statement of “I’m a big woman I need substantial accessories” I should instead acknowledge that I am a solidly substantial woman, I say all that to say along with my preferences for accessories and clothing my mindset has finally caught up. I think big now. It took some time (waaaaay toooo long – <side eye>) to arrive at the point in my life where I’m no longer operating in a lack of poverty mindset and let me tell you it makes a tremendous difference.

I’m still working to clean up my prior money management mistakes and I have no intention in repeating those mistakes-ever. However I didn’t realize right away that part of my issue was my way of thinking, about everything and especially about money. I’m not gong to presume that you do but IFYYK–you know those negative and impoverished thoughts like, “I can’t afford that,” feeling dread and resentment when paying bills or even worse having the money to pay bills but putting the bills off, spiraling into late fees and humiliation when services are disconnected or arguing with my financial institution over NSF fees <sigh, yea I was there not so long ago>; I realized my avoidance of sitting down to understand how I was spending my money, setting up a budget and actually checking my bank account balances was a major contributing factor to my depression.  I was constantly worried about the money I didn’t have and totally overlooking and neglecting the money I did have. 

The moment I decided I needed to understand where the hell was all my money going was the moment that big ass Orangutan L.I.V.I.N.G ever so comfortably on my back got to moving around. I was motivated because, excuse me, I ain’t paying another G.O.T.damn NSF fee ever again.

I created a paycheck budget worksheet**, breaking down for each pay period what, how much was due and when; added scheduled and paid check boxes. I set up excel spreadsheets with payment schedules breaking down the specific debt, how much I owed and calculated how much to pay monthly in order to pay off within the desired timeframe and I decided I was going to start paying myself (AKA saving my coins).  I also stopped avoiding checking my account balance, especially after playing it fast and loose with my debit card.

Yes, I still slip into those familiar bad habits but now they’re no longer comfortable; once I began feeling the weight of that Orangutan again I don’t like it. I had grown accustom to not worrying if something will be disconnected and for the most part being able to buy the things I needed and even things I didn’t without skipping a bill or obsessing over being able to afford it. 

I had gotten the Orange primate (aka George) off my neck but he was still leaning on me. I learned when the weight of the Orangutan leaning on me and that sucka is close to climbing right back on my back it affects my disposition. I found myself right on the edge of slipping into a negative space right on the cusp of a really bad spiral but this time I paid my bills and I did it without complaint or grievance and I felt relieved. George is gone again and I felt some of my motivation returning. Don’t get me wrong I am not saying that changing your mindset is the only fix when you are drowning in debt and don’t have enough income and options readily available because if you don’t take anything else away from this post please believe I have been there and at my lowest point I never ever want to be there again. I am saying that you have to take responsibility for it, you, everything and as you are owning your stuff your mindset must also adjust to be positive, creative and focused on whatever it is that works for you to align with the universe and the abundance you are most certainly entitled to. 

Another thing I did. I got a second job in an industry that I’d ultimately like to transition to, I lucked out because it didn’t initially pay great although it helped get me through a really tough period; it is seasonal but I have learned a great deal and work with a pretty good group of folks. I’m now positioned with an additional source to increase my savings contribution because I no longer need the money but it’s nice to have.  <points at George the Orangutan, “…back back”>

So back to my impulsive wish list purchase. Yes it was an impulse buy but it was in alignment with my manifestation process. I had planned to purchase the watch as a Christmas present for myself but I happened to see MK had a sale ending today and with the savings it fit into my budget and not to mention the 10% cash back I’ll get through my ebates (now it’s called Rakuten). And I got it engraved! This watch has been on my wish list since 2019. It’s nice to cross it off 😉

PS: **if you are interested in the paycheck budgeting sheet I created or a custom excel spreadsheet budget template, holla at me in the comments and if you shop online and are interested in earning cashback on a good deal of your purchases check out my Rakuten (formerly Ebates) link to sign up.